


The Bachelor Competions

by Adani_Moon



Series: The Twink Competitions [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Devilman (Anime & Manga), Hazbin Hotel (Web Series), Kagerou Project, 大海原と大海原 | Oounabara to Wadanohara | Wadanohara and the Great Blue Sea
Genre: F/M, and i got a lil. prideful of this Thing, character analysis disguised as shitpost, congrats! ive disappointed a lot of ppl!!, dont take this seriously pleas e, i dont expect actual criticism since this is all a joke but uh Yeah, if by these tags alone u know who i am, of who loves nagito and alastor, shitpost, this is an abSOLUTE SHITPOST, this was a stupid essay made for one of my friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:40:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23191015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adani_Moon/pseuds/Adani_Moon
Summary: An elaborate shitpost essay of Alastor from Hazbin Hotel and Nagito Komaeda from Danganronpa 2 dissecting who'd be an eligible bachelor for one of my childhood friends.Sans is here.
Series: The Twink Competitions [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1667305
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3
Collections: Twink Competetions





	The Bachelor Competions

_The Twink Competitions_ \--between Alastor and Komaeda Nagito, who's the twinkiest of them all for Sofía Vergas?

* * *

As this essay starts off, both men are _special_ types of twinks. As the public acknowledges the mainstream "cutie pie sweet cinnamon roll" twinks who could possibly do no harm unto others because of their canonical characterization (Pre-amon Akira Fudo, Seto Kousuke), the rise in bastard twinks are inevitable to outshine the pure boys. 

The bastard twinks might include Sal, from Deep Sea Prisoner's _Wadanohara and the Great Blue Sea_ , Kokichi Ouma from _Danganronpa V3: New Semester of Killing_ , and the infamous Nagito Komaeda (from _Super Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair_ )--of whom this essay will discuss in detail later. These varying twink bastards have a moral compass that's greyer than the smokes of Australia. 

Bastard twinks, a bottom spectrum of twinkiness, are twinks that follow their set of codes to achieve a personal goal--whether selfishly or selflessly so. Kokichi, on the spectrum of selflessness, antagonized everyone by pathological lying to lend their eyes open to the true stakes of the Killing Game they were involved. As he lied, they came closer to the ugly truth disguised as a beautiful lie (video source: [ Kokichi Ouma's Characterization ](https://youtu.be/EWOAC7ge7LA) by Weeby News). 

On the same token, yet a different side, is Sal from _Wadanohara and the Great Blue Sea_. His canonical backstory is vague, but pieced together throughout the game--most notably, in his betrayal to the Blue Sea Kingdom. He was a twin brother of Samekichi, an ex-familiar of Wadanohara, and surely enough, Sal had several interactions with her. As he grew older, however, jealousy took over him--then envy. As the two princesses fought for the crown, the denizens of the sea were split on two sides: Princess Mikotsu or Princess Uomi? Being the Ambassador of the Dead Sea, he sided with the fallen princess. 

Throughout the game, his overwhelming infatuation with Wadanohara becomes apparent. In one of the considered "Normal" ends, he _"persuades"_ Wadanohara to trust him, resulting in a scene beyond words that could comprehend how vile it truly is ( [ ForteXD's video on Normal End 1 ](https://youtu.be/hfBIgDiBcK8)). It is seen here not only of Sal's true colors, but also his intent throughout the game: to make Wadanohara love him.

However, as I would love to discuss in depth the ranks of personalities that twinks are given, I have a dire, onset conflict: who's the suitable bachelor for Sofía Vergas? 

Sofía Vergas is a long-term friend of mine, dating back to the summer of 2014 on the then Google+. It was from there that we've shared a common threshold of niche interests, to even personal problems that plagued us then. Vergas has a persistent affinity for twinks, as I've calculated with the six years I've been friends with her. However, she is most affectionate to the aforementioned Nagito Komaeda and the opponent, Alastor from Viviziepop's web series, _Hazbin Hotel._

Now, what makes them similar? 

They both are, afterall, twinks of similar caliber. Nagito on the selfless bastard twink side, and Alastor on the bastard twink side. While Alastor's true intentions aren't inherently pronounced yet, Nagito's is. They also have allure to their respective fandoms--even to the point of making _me_ flush. And truly enough, it's a rare occurrence for twinks to intimidate me. 

Yet, this essay isn't about me. 

While Nagito has the Super High School Level Talent of being inherently lucky with the double edge of misfortune onto himself or others ([ 2:50 ](https://youtu.be/X0IkPvI8US0) on Coca Soula's video), Alastor has the power of being unnaturally powerful. Being not only the Radio Demon of Hell, but also crowned as a powerful foe for those who fight for territory in Hell's Garden ( [ 22:20 ](https://youtu.be/Zlmswo0S0e0) in the first episode of _Haztbin Hotel_ ). Nagito truly has competition against this heinous foe of a jazz man from the Roaring 20's.

However, Nagito has something that Alastor doesn't: _a friend_ . In his pop hit collaboration with _Undertale's_ Sans the Skeleton [ ("Fingers in his A--") ](https://youtu.be/wfwZkkAZuPw), it has been noted by fans of the respective franchises that not only are they friends, but former allies--or even lovers. To avoid libel, however, I will only state that they are friends at the present moment. 

Now, to digress as to how Nagito would have a slight advantage over Alastor, we have to talk about San's lineage. Ever since his debut in Toby Fox's hit game, _Undertale_ , different variations of the skeleton have arisen. From _Underfell_ , to _Swaptale_ , to even an alternative universe of where the characters of _Undertale_ are based off Greek mythology, Sans the Skeleton truly has connections to each of these different variants of him (Jael Peñaloza's [ _Underverse_ ](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLi-51t_bVTXYu30P7oLpcoimcih7EXSaA) project).

As I would love to debate which Sans is stronger, we have to steady ourselves back on track. While Alastor is known to have borrowed powers from the Underworld ([ 22:00 ](https://youtu.be/Zlmswo0S0e0) of _Hazbin Hotel_ ), Nagito's acquaintanceship with the variants of Sans the Skeleton would illustrate a hefty battle that's enough to shred the Universe in half. With the added combo of Nagito's double edged luck, it'd surely would rip in half if he beheld the victor in a fight with the Radio Demon.

However, this isn't a battle between powers and dominance between the others, but rather dominance over the Spainard Vergas.

Now, both men have varying personalities--Nagito being truly psychotic with a hint of sass and Alastor with his hinged malice disguised as sweet nothings from the golden pipes of hell. In a competition for dominance over Sofía, Alastor surely shows confidence in his stride wherever he goes. 

Sadly, however, in compliance with Alastor's asexuality, Komaeda takes the cake in landing base onto Vergas. 

However, Alastor has an upper hand to his perceived disadvantage. Asexuals are known to be the best at cuddling and giving (or receiving) love and affection from their significant others (see: my girlfriend, of whom stands within the asexuality spectrum). As it's confirmed that Alastor had a few affairs and blooming relationships in his past, human life, it's based off this that he is an affectionate cuddler--and kisser. In points of sweet, sweet love and vanilla, the Radio Demon receives one.

However, a question persists: who's the stable one? While Komaeda has dementia, leukemia, and threshold of diseases that hinder him to be the way he is, Alastor is only cannibalistic _voluntarily_ . As there aren't any further episodes discussing Alastor's mental health, it's only safe to say that the Radio Demon is tamer in comparison to the ail Lucky Student. Yet, after Nagito's resurgence from despair in _Danganronpa 3: Hope Arc_ , the Super High School Level Lucky Student is shown to have elevated stability in mental health. 

Any normal person would go for Nagito on the spot with these varying comparisons between him and a demon--Sofía isn't inherently normal. Sure, she is a better half to me, but Vergas has her eccentricities. 

It's an indecisive battle between Ultimate Luckster and Radio Demon--and even I couldn't choose which one is suitable for her. As sad it is for me to say, it's a tie for the two fictional bachelor's in question. As questionable polyamory may be in this concluding stance, both ex-Remnant and Radio Host would have thrills in keeping Sofía Vergas company and giving love alongside. 

That's my stance on today's essay of _The Twink Competitions_. Tune in next time!


End file.
